All Hands on Deck

I’ve been thinking a lot about the oil spill. Now hear me out before you start with how nuts I am. I’m glad they seemingly have stopped the flow. But the fire is still burning. There are millions of gallons floating around my ocean – and your ocean – that need to be removed.

If a huge house is burning, everyone in the neighborhood becomes a firefighter. They all rush over to the burning building. They help direct traffic, run in if the firefighters haven’t arrived yet to save the children, turn on the hose and point the stream of water onto the flames. They don’t just stand there watching, or head off to their normal jobs driving by the disaster at their sister-home.

“Where is she going with this,” I hear you ask already? Keep your knickers on. I’m getting there.

We leaked oil into the already people-polluted ocean. We have it spreading all over the place. We also have really smart people on the planet. Stephen Hawking comes to mind. All those brain-peeps from NASA. Physicists out the wazoo. Ok, people, it’s all hands on deck. Mars will still be there waiting for you in a year after you fix this burning home sitting right next to you. The black hole can wait another year or so to be explained. Seriously. Everyone needs to try and find a solution. Rome is burning and you’re worrying about black holes? Get a grip people.

We need every smart person to go to the gulf, be indoctrinated into the fine workings of what happens to the ocean when oil spews into it, and then everyone needs to go put their thinking caps on to figure out what to do about it. Fix it. Get it outta there.

You think I’m nuts? There is a famous story about how a large eighteen-wheeler truck got stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel in New York. The driver didn’t read the sign that said the height restriction was shorter than his vehicle. All hands were on deck. Fire department. Police. Transit peeps. You get the picture. There was a car stuck behind the truck with a nine-year-old boy in it. Everyone was out of their cars watching them try and figure out how to get the roof off the truck. The little kid went over to the police officer and said, “Excuse me smart officer. If you let the air out of the tires, I think it will work.” Now, I wasn’t there, and this could be folklore, but either way, shouldn’t everyone be putting on their thinking caps?

I’m a smart person. I have been thinking about this myself. I was thinking about how long it takes olive oil to seep through cheesecloth. It’s a cooking thing. So, make a huge net of cheesecloth, surround one of the moving flotillas of oil and scoop it up and crane it onto a barge. You roll your eyes? Ok, smarty pants, what did you think of as a solution? At least I’m trying.

This is not rocket science. Or maybe it is, but this is the time when if you have brain power, you need to bring it to the sister-ship. Now.