Size of Drink Felonies. Really?

The fabulous daughter Sarah, whom I’m not allowed to discuss in this blog, just graduated from law school. Anyway, as a gift for graduation, I had our graphic designer at Blue Shoe Strategy design a leather-bound book with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in it. I was a D+ student in high school, and I didn’t take any government classes in college, so I decided to read them while happily thumbing through my fabulously creative gift.

Then I got scared. I realized that we are in big trouble here. I mean big trouble.

Let’s review a few things and see if you agree.

When it comes to money, the Republicans want government to have no role in our lives. Spend however much we want on whatever we want and give whatever we want to whatever lobbyist backs our personal agendas. No taxes—for the rich anyway—and let the chips fall where they may. Let the banks fail and send the world into financial chaos. Let one person buy an election with a contribution of $13,000,000. All men are surely created equal.

When it comes to safeguarding the environment, they are the same way. Let the drills strike wherever. Give huge tax breaks to oil companies that make billions in profits. And if they should befoul the environment with an oil spill, slap their wrists and fine them less than it would have cost them to do it right in the first place, thereby removing any incentive to do it correctly right out of the gate.

But when it comes to personal things like a woman’s body, or whom you marry—or now, how many ounces of soft drinks you can consume, government needs to take a role.

First of all, make up your mind. Either government should be involved in things, or it shouldn’t.

Let’s chat about Mayor Bloomberg (whom I like, really I do) and his new soda consumption law. I can’t even take the words seriously as I write them.

Mayor Bloomberg is now pushing for a law that will not allow a person to buy a soft drink larger than 16 oz. First of all, it’s a stupid law. Those who want a larger drink will now just buy two drinks, and let’s face it, the demographic that wants more than 16 oz. of a soft drink are not people who can afford to pay more for the same thing. Second, the soft drink companies will now start to buy elections just like the oil companies and other special interest groups do, and the last thing I want in Washington is a Coca Cola representative while I am still trying desperately to kick my habit of drinking Diet Coke, which is filled with aspartame, which is taking my memory away in larger bites daily. Seriously, no one outlaws aspartame, but they limit the size of a soft drink? Really?

Second, you really can’t start with this stuff. You really can’t. Next it will be how many movies you see a week because you should be getting a job. Or let’s talk about meat consumption (or eating ‘white,’ as I like to call my carb addiction). No, no, no.

Lastly, how will you punish those who break the law? I can see it now. A cop goes into a McDonald’s on Broadway and 40th Street and sees a guy with two 16 oz. drinks on his tray, clearly drinking both of them. He is cuffed and charged with too much soft drink consumption, punishable with a fine of $500 and twenty days in the clinker. Second offense? You’re doing hard time, man.

Puh-lease, as the young say. Listen Mayor, go visit Chase or Morgan Stanley, and put some cuffs on them. The fact that you consider this a serious matter, worthy of your attention, is the most worrisome thing of all. And by the way, leave my body alone.

7 comments to Size of Drink Felonies. Really?

  • Amen!!

    There are times when I’m overwhelmed by responsibilities and I stop to play “Word With Friends” or “7 Little Words” or index a page of 1940 census records for a free genealogy site – anything to give my mind a breather – that has a quick beginning and an end AND that doesn’t involve an outside activity.

    I’m hoping Mayor Bloomberg was taking a break, playing around with an idea, but instead of a quick mind break – this silly idea got out of control. Now the media has it, like a dog with a bone.

    I think there are more deserving issues that could be addressed and that the media could latch onto. Let this one go, just let it go….

  • A bunch of like-minded friends and I were all over these very topics yesterday! No government? Why are they freakin’ running for government office, to get paid by taxes the government collects from all of us? And soda…geez, you can’t make this stuff up! Thanks Chris!

  • I disagree about Bloomberg (agree with the other stuff). Sugary drinks are nutritionally worthless, yet high in calories, causing obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, and other health problems. And, by choosing sugary drinks over more nutritional choices, consumers deny themselves needed nutrients.

    Like seat belt laws, the super-sized soda ban affect not only the individual, but the community by reducing deaths from car accidents or medical costs of diabetes.

    Bloomberg also banned smoking from all public areas in New York and trans-fat from restaurants in New York. Both bans have proved popular in New York and elsewhere, and raised awareness of smoking and trans-fat health issues.

    The super-sized soda ban does not prevent you from buying more than one drink at a time or from going back for free refills. It does not even affect diet drinks. It just asks you to think before you buy—-not about big government, but about portion size and the impacts of all that sugar on your body and your health.

    I see that Disney is dumping junk food ads and plans to advertise healthier foods for kids. It is part of a healthy trend.

    • Christine

      Ah, it’s the age old question of who gets to decide what is good and right for me. For my money, it’s not Bloomberg or any other politician. What is good is that we can debate the merits. Hope they don’t decide that’s not good anymore and ban that.. Just sayin….

  • Reed Baer

    Pleaze — what about a size-limit on something that matters, like, oh, just sayin’, a size limit on the tens of millions raked off by hedge fund managers, or a size-limit on executive compensation at “non-profits”, or a size-limit on subsidies to huge agribusiness, or a size-limit on billion-dollar bailouts to banks who gambled and lost on mortgage-backed securities while those holding having the mortgages go underwater….

  • Paula

    Bloomberg is not a Republican. He left the GOP and ran last time as an independent. He was a Democrat before running as a Republican the first time.

    What next? Is he going to try to regulate the size of a Big Mac, too? Maybe it’ll be a Mid-Size Mac.

    I’m all for the regulations on smoking in public places. The old “your right to smoke ends at the tip of my nose” argument makes perfect sense. But if somebody wants to drink a gallon of sugary liquid, that’s their problem.

  • Christine

    Paula, Do we agree? Yikes!!!!

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