Golf Carts? Well, alrighty then...

In case you haven’t heard, there is a federal rebate on golf cart purchases through the end of the year. You can get as much as $15,000 if you buy a golf cart. I work in an office where most of management leans toward the elephant trails. I’m the sole donkey in the group. These are not evil people, just misguided.

I was in the office of the CFO, the papa elephant in the office, when all of a sudden he looks up from the spreadsheets from hell in front of us and screams across the desk, “You! Obama Girl! Golf carts! Do you have any idea how stupid that is?!”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” I said calmly welcoming the diversion away from my budget that is not looking so good. “Is there something about it that confuses you?” Who’s in control now, I asked myself.

He pulls out a piece of scratch paper and proceeds to scribble numbers – and percentages – and year dates on paper yelling something about how you can actually make money buying the golf cart. You apparently take out a loan to do it, pay off the loan for two years with the rebate and then sell the golf cart for a profit. Something like that. He lost me at the first stroke of the pen.

While yesterday I was a cheating felon (read my blog yesterday), today I am an upstanding, flag-waving American citizen who loves my government and golf carts that should be covered with decals of Obama and his family and friends. And, an American flag of course. I sat up straight and tall, and I held my own. I dealt head on and said, “Listen up, Elephant Man. That is not the spirit of the plan. It’s for people who are not able to get around and for those not able to drive and to save energy by possibly not using fossil fuels. You remember fossil fuels. Those things that your president made a ton of personal money owning and profiting from. Besides, CFO Wizard, if you want to profit from it, why don’t you just buy the stock of companies making golf carts instead? And besides Marathon Man (He actually does not just run marathons but those things where you swim and ride a bike and run. Oh yea, Iron Man events. The man is nothing if not a sadist, but at least he inflicts pain on himself as well as others), ever heard of supply and demand? I assure you that by the time you go to sell your golf cart, they will be a dime a dozen, but be my guest, because best of all it will stimulate the economy.”

He looked at me. He has intense eyes, put his pencil down and waved his arms in the air.

“First of all, girlfriend, that stock ship has sailed, trust me. The cow is out of that barn. And, furthermore, stimulate the economy? Are you nuts? Oh sorry, Obama Mini Me, you are right.” He slapped his head with his hand. “Our economy is going to fly to the moon by the production of golf carts. How could I have missed it? Golf carts will save our economy. Thank God for Obama’s golf cart plan. Genius.”

“Well, corner office boy, golf carts alone will not, but coupled with one hundred other golf cart-type things, it will.”

“You want stimulus, I’ll give you stimulus. Give me back my taxes, and I’ll stimulate the economy. And it won’t be with golf carts!”

I felt I was losing ground. It was the first time that I actually felt that perhaps there is a point to the government letting us spend our money the way we want and let the economy be generated by our own personal supply and demand. I am not actually loving the golf cart plan. My aunt Nancy and my mother are thinking of getting them. Not so much. I see all kinds of problems; bodies strewn on the side of the road from cars hitting all the carts. And, let’s face it, it’s not money well spent.

While I’m still an Obama Mini Me, I am getting a little concerned about some of these things he is touting. I know the jury is still out, but sitting in my CFO’s office, I also realized that there are two real sides to every story and this one isn’t really swaying toward Donkey Land.

The CFO often reads my blog. But tomorrow, you Democrats in the group will be happy to know, he has a lower GI series colonoscopy and won’t be in so I think he will skip it. I’m sure you all hope everything comes out all right.

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