I was at a dinner the other night and this man was talking about his fabulous car growing up. He spoke of it as if it were part of the family history, actually part of the family itself. Then I saw this video about this older woman who was still driving a car she bought in the sixties. She had pictures of herself in front of her car each year as she had a birthday party for it. She loved her car and had every dime she put in it recorded. And, she had a manual she would give to people servicing it about how to change the oil and various other things.

Cars used to be such a huge expense and part of the daily life for years and years, so we remember them. But now, with leasing and turning cars in after a year or two for a new one, we now don’t have the same connection.

I am going to make a concerted effort to care about my new car. I turned in my big Audi SUV because it was so large that it kept hitting things. As I’ve mentioned, living in LA where you have to stop in strip malls all the time means there are tons of poles sticking up just waiting to be backed into. And, my underground garage poles move (I swear) to make sure I nick them on my way in and out of the space. So, now I have a small BMW SUV, which is cuter than a button, and has only backed itself into two things in the four months I’ve had it. A far cry better than the Audi.

I’m going to name my car soon. Thinking something special like Ruth. Or maybe, Emma. I have to marinate in it and make sure it’s a name that will stick. I’m going to start tracking my care of her. I’m going to pat her hello in the morning, and I’m going to make a commitment here and now to keep her for at least ten years. She and I are going to grow old together like that woman in the video.

Yep, it’s the new car me. A relationship with my car like in the old days with my Cougar XR7 that I wrote about on this blog sometime over the past year. I think it’s going to really change things for me with my car karma. Will keep you posted.

It’s great, and not everything is handmade. I personally like the Vintage section where I bought two great books; Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights, published in 1942. And, the other thing I bought is a pair of handmade mittens for my daughter that have that string running from one to the other so she can leave them in the sleeves of her coat. She is out east and keeps telling me she has to leave for class without her gloves because she can never find them. I don’t want to have her walking to be smart in law school without gloves. Her brain power could be escaping through her fingers for all we know. You never know about that stuff.

The communication on this site is great. People send you thank you notes for buying things, and I really have to say the things for sale are great. Don’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s a site for women – entrepreneurial types – who now have a place to sell their genius. Most of my readership is women, and I believe in nepotism, so let it all begin.

A friend of mine, Claire, who hasn’t been in my blog for awhile because she is on the east coast, and I’m on the west coast, and it’s not so easy to have daily contact. Alas. She is very, very creative, one of the best designers of events and decor. Anyway, she always wanted to start a website called www.CraftyBitches.com. Believe it or not, the site URL was already taken, but nothing has really been done with it.

Well, Etsy, is the kinder version of crafty bitches and I love it. Take a look.

She woke up, had a lunch date and decided she had to get her hair cut that morning before the lunch date. She called a neighbor whose hair looks fab, asked her for the name of the person who does her hair and called for an appointment. The neighbor’s beautician (is that still a word?) didn’t have any openings that morning so she asked for anyone who was available. She was telling me this on the phone, and I wanted to say, “Well dummy dummy doe doe, what did you think? Because they happen to work in the same place, they have the same quality of work? Wasn’t the fact that the woman was available on an hour’s notice a give away?” But the new Obama Mini Me, cousin of my guardian angel Buck (the deer that gave his life last weekend when I hit him so I could change mine to a slower, more nuturing person), is now in charge, so I murmured, “Oh my,” or some such nonsense.

Anyway, poor poor Paula goes in there and the woman started cutting, and cutting, and cutting and it was then an hour and a half after she sat down.

“Paula, you are not a quiet personality. You speak your mind strongly. You do not shy away from controversy. Why is it when you get in a chair, you tend to do exactly what they tell you to do and lose your voice? I would have said after a half an hour, “get me out of this chair, hair cutting person, or you are toast.’”

“I know, I know. I do the same thing in the dentist’s chair. They start adding all these things to my cleaning and I just sit there with my mouth open nodding yes.”

“Well, you must stop it immediately.”

It's that layered look from the eighties, but this is AFTER they fixed it.

She was late for the lunch she was getting her hair cut to look nice for so she ran out without looking at the back of her head. Here is a picture of it after the intervention the next day, so you can only imagine what it looked like then.

Here’s the thing. Whenever I do things impulsively, this is the outcome.

Whenever I buy a pair of shoes because I have to go out that night and don’t feel quite right about the ones in my closet, I end up with blisters and never wear them again.

Whenever I buy a car because I can’t stand the inside of the car I have, I always regret it a month later when the new car has the same used look inside. (I so don’t care about what is under the hood. You never see that.)

My friend Jill and I have a twenty-four hour rule. If it isn’t food and costs more than $100, we have to wait twenty-four hours. While neither of us has executed the rule that much, it’s often in the back of my mind and has stopped an impulsive purchase or two.

As for Paula’s hair? I still go back to the moment when the woman on the phone said the lady Paula wanted to cut her hair was not available. Sorry P.

Well, today my friend Cathryn and I were at Barnes and Nobels in Santa Monica’s 3rd Avenue street mall. We were looking for the Ted Kennedy autobiography which was sold out. She bought another book and was at the cash register where the following conversation took place.

“Do you know when you will be getting more of the Ted Kennedy book?”

“I’m sorry, what is the name of the book?”

“i don’t know the name but it’s the book he wrote about his life before he died?”

“Is it a biography?”

“You know what? Never mind. I’ll just take this book.”

“Ok.”

I used to love book stores. I loved feeling the books; there are usually only one or two of a book on the shelf and you browsed through them and the people working there did so because they loved the written word too.

I have a Kindle now (Amazon’s EBook) and that’s nice too because I can hear about a book and download it to my Kindle or my IPhone seconds later, right after the conversation. But it’s not the same as reading a page and turning it and seeing how much is left before the book ends so you can spread it out if you need it to last longer.

I listen to books on tape in my car. I will drive around an extra ten minutes (ok, sometimes longer) so I can finish a chapter before I get home. Sitting in the driveway which others say they do doesn’t quite work for me.

But there was nothing like a bookstore way back when. And, now it’s not the same. You know, B&N doesn’t even smell like a bookstore. Why is that? They have more books than the bookstores of old, but they don’t smell like books.

So, I guess the point (gads, it always comes back to that, doesn’t it?) is that there is a time for a bookstore, a time for Kindle, a time for books on tape. But if it’s time for a bookstore, they simply must fill it with those who care about the written word, or I’m not going anymore.

Apple has a new fabulous ad. Be sure and check it out if you are heading through the tunnel. And, then I see it. There is Jennifer Aniston staring at me, naked from above the chest area, saddled up with a bottle of Smart Water. She says something about being healthy with Smart Water. I look at her as I am sitting in traffic and decide I just don’t get it. I’m uncomfortable, and I realize I have never seen Jennifer in an ad before.

First, why is she always bare shouldered in every picture she does? Put a shirt on Jennifer. You look stupid, which I’ve heard might be the case. Second, you chain smoke. Drinking Smart Water is not going to help you when your lungs turn black, and if it’s making you smarter, then why are you still smoking? You drink a lot. I don’t recall any pictures of you with bottles of water in the media. 

Most importantly, why would I listen to Jennifer Aniston about what to drink to make me healthy? While she is a successful actor (I use the term successful generously. She is financially successful and certainly well known, but I have never seen her act at the level of Glenn Close, or Meryl Streep, or frankly, even Lindsay Lohan.). I do not understand why Aniston is someone whose opinion would sway anyone when it comes to buying something healthy. Maybe something that makes you thin and toned, but healthy? I don’t get it.

I got home last night, and because I’m a sicko who just can’t leave anything alone, I did some investigative work. Guess what? She owns a part of the company. This is the first endorsement she has done in America, and Smart Water said, “Jennifer believes in Smart Water so much, she invested in the company.” Let’s define investment. She gave them hard cash and is doing the ads for free? Not so much. They paid her and gave her shares for her endorsement would be my guess.

So, I’m sitting there thinking not only are they using someone who has nothing to do with health to sell the product, but in addition, there is no caveat at the bottom of the ad that says she has a conflict of interest as she is a shareholder. Isn’t that against the law? And if it’s not, shouldn’t it be? Jeeze, we are passing laws a mile a minute now in Washington, can’t they squeeze that one in and do us all a favor?

I never bought Smart Water. I don’t like marketing oxymorons. Water is not smart. And, the electrolytes they put in it are not smart either. I know when I buy water that I’m a jerk. Water is free and how stupid is it to spend a few dollars buying something free in a bottle that makes it not even healthy anymore? The jury is no longer out as to what happens when you put liquids in plastic. They become not so healthy. While they say you are fine if you store them in a cool place, I’m sure the trucks they travel in to get to the stores are anything but cool inside, so you are only fooling yourself. I know all this and still choose to buy water in plastic bottles. To say nothing of the number of plastic bottles floating around the environment. But I don’t pretend to be anything other than stupid, environmentally irresponsible, and non-healthy in my approach to what I put in my mouth.

I understand celebrity endorsements. Tiger Woods endorsing golf items? Makes sense. When he endorsed Buick, I was thinking, “Hey Tiger, I really don’t believe that you like Buick.” And frankly, it clearly didn’t do much good. In the end, Tiger’s manager put out a statement that Tiger would no longer endorse cars. Guess he got tired of driving a pile of junk, no matter how much they paid him.  

Ok, after they make the law that says you have to disclose your investment in any company you endorse, they could add to the law by saying you can only endorse products you really use. Jennifer could endorse Range Rover, cigarettes and Starbucks. Works for me. More importantly, isn’t it time for us to take a look at how we are manipulated in advertising? Individually? For our own good? The next time you are in the store, ask yourself why you chose that particular brand, and if it’s because Jennifer Aniston was naked with a crazy look in her eye holding up the bottle, put it back on the shelf and head for a water fountain.

I share some of them with you today.

Paula with her heart fixer. She doesn't want you to see her face.

This is Paula with her defibrillator.  She is alone on the Vineyard a good chunk of the summer and thought she might need it. I pointed out to her that doing it on yourself was not necessarily the way it was set up, but she pointed out that she could use it on me, which judging from my breathing as we do things around here might be the case.

The charcoal that is really charwood.

This is her new charcoal. Did you know that charcoal is not charred coal? It’s charred wood. Who knew? Why can’t things be called what they actually are? I get so confused. ANYWAY, this new charcoal lights faster, makes things taste better and works well with her new smoker cooker also pictured here. It’s called The Big Green Egg, isn’t that the best name ever? It was seen by GI’s during WWII in Japan and one of them brought one back to America and poof, he’s been selling them ever since. It weighs a ton, literally. And, I’m not sure I can move it to my house, but I’m getting one anyway. Then I can serve chicken instead of steak because according to Paula, chicken in this mother is amazing.

Paula's green smoker

Paula's drainboard. Isn't it cool?

This is Paula’s drainboard. Mine, of course, sits up really high on my counter and is unsightly. She can’t remember where she got it but is working on it for me.

Her recoil hose...

This is Paula’s hose. Isn’t it cute? I love this hose and if you are bored sitting outside, you can pull it straight and watch it recoil when you let it go. Tons of fun.

There are more things; her weather station, her cool timer, her pots and pans – each one unique. And, she uses everything too. I buy things and never use them. Let’s not discuss my slow cooker purchase. I have never done anything slowly, so what possessed me to buy a slow cooker? But Paula buys things you actually use. 

She has a thing you get on that turns you upside down and allows your crunched vertebrae to lengthen. I’m trying that out today. Do you think it’s the same thing health-wise as running on the beach?

So, vaca is great. Learning each and every day. if you know where to buy the aforementioned drainboard, give me a holler. And, thanks Paula, for allowing me to take your picture next to some of your things. You are a true friend.