Lessons from My Dad

My Dad and Me

My dad died yesterday. What to say? How to honor him? I spent a number of peaceful days before he died alone thinking about sixty years of complex history with him, and so many forgotten memories came to me. Those days last week were some of the best days I’ve spent in years. I list here some of the lessons I learned from a great man, Herbert Bartlett Merser, who

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The Big Wedding

There have been some great romantic comedies that were silly, yet hopeful. Unbelievable, but with shades of our own true experiences. Stupid, but with life lessons. The Proposal with Sandra Bullock comes to mind. Or Nancy Meyers films like The Holiday, or for that matter, It’s Complicated. The Big Wedding had the potential to be one of these gems, but just as so many of us fall short on our personal journeys toward being our

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Gay Minority; Different Than All the Rest

The other day at Starbucks I ran into a friend who happens to be Gay. We were talking about his work as a counselor, and he happened to say the most amazing thing.

“Being gay is different from being a member of any other minority, because you are a minority not only in society, but inside your own family. So growing up, there is nowhere where you are in the majority. Other minorities are not

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Ya Ya

When my mother died last fall, I was invited to take her place at the monthly luncheon she and her friends have been doing for years. They meet at a different restaurant each month, where they ask for separate checks, hear one another’s reviews of the past month, and generally enjoy each other’s company. When they asked if I wanted to come, I said, “Oh my God, you mean like the Sisters of the Ya

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Ode to Oprah

Today is Oprah’s last show, and I hope you will all watch it, because Oprah is my friend.

Oprah went global two months after my fabulous daughter was born. I’m not sure when I started watching, but I’m pretty sure it was close to the beginning. At that time there was no such thing as TIVO, so I didn’t tape it. Let’s say I watched five times a month. I don’t remember any of those

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Sperminator

Arnold, Arnold, Arnold. Really?

And as for the housekeeper/assistant—you couldn’t resign when you got pregnant? You had to stay in the household for ten more years? You had to provide Maria and the children with memories of yourself as an integral part of their personal lives, and all the while you were the mother to their husband’s/father’s child? Really?

This story is not a new one. In other countries, it’s not a deal-breaker the way

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English Class. The Difference Between Us.

I rarely post things from others, but I couldn’t resist on this one because it’s so me.

Here’s a prime example of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix. The professor told his class one day, ‘Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or

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Dog Guilt

For the last two years I have gotten up each morning at 2:00 a.m. and can’t go back to sleep until around four or five. I know that it is not good for me, but I don’t believe in drugs and really didn’t want to go there. So, I just made do. When I moved last month to the new place, I took the fabulous Luke (my Nova Scotian Duck Toller) to his babysitter for

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Tiger in the Woods

Get it, Tiger in the Woods? Really it’s not about Tiger in the woods, as much as its about not seeing the forest for the trees.

Listen up. We have a fabulous opportunity here. We can rise above our lowlife selves and let the media and the world know that what Tiger does in the woods of his house is not our business. If he rammed a golf cart into the clubhouse at the U.S.

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How Does Your Man Drive His Car?

A friend recently said you must always find the test you need to give a guy to make sure he has what you need to be your life partner. I started thinking about it, and I know exactly what she means.

For me, how a guy drives says it all. I need a strong, fast driver, with accuracy at the wheel. Someone who would never lose his temper at another driver. He would just leave

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