Me & Harvey Weinstein

There were four ten-year-old girls playing in a field in Bosnia in the early nineties. A Serbian jeep pulled up with four soldiers in it. The soldiers got out of the jeep and called the girls to come over, in a strong soldier kind of way. Three of them stepped toward the men. Their obedience was immediate. It was a reaction to years – generations, actually – of men telling women to do something, and

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The Opinion of Strangers

We are funny ducks, we human beings.

We play games, thinking we are fooling the world. But the world couldn’t care less, and doesn’t even notice the lengths we go to in order to appear the way we wish we were but aren’t.

Examples abound:

I love Maltesers—those malted milk balls from England that melt in your mouth (don’t judge me). My cousin Louise, who is British, loves them as much as I do. When

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It's Norman's Fault.

I have been pondering who is to blame for the misconception of the “normal” American Family that we all struggle to overcome when our own families don’t quite measure up. Okay, forget the “don’t quite measure up.” Let’s call a spade a spade: Our families look nothing like the Leave it to Beaver, or even Modern Family models that we all love to turn on each week. There is no sign of the real sadness,

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It's My Party.

Did I ever mention I had a party once and no one came?

H2 (Husband #2) and I had a lovely home on the beach in the Hamptons. He still has the home, but trust me, it really always belonged to him. We decided to have a beach party with lobsters, a steel band, and various other costly things to entertain one hundred plus of our nearest and dearest friends. It was going to become

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Katherine Gibbs Secretarial School. Oh my!

I had lunch the other day with a friend of mine. Talk turned to fathers, and how similar our two fathers were. Her father was a worker and a golfer like mine. Work and golf and show up now and then to be a larger than life presence in the lives of their kids. Mine was a tough taskmaster whom I didn’t appreciate until long after he no longer had any influence on me. We

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Lessons from My Dad

My Dad and Me

My dad died yesterday. What to say? How to honor him? I spent a number of peaceful days before he died alone thinking about sixty years of complex history with him, and so many forgotten memories came to me. Those days last week were some of the best days I’ve spent in years. I list here some of the lessons I learned from a great man, Herbert Bartlett Merser, who

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The Big Wedding

There have been some great romantic comedies that were silly, yet hopeful. Unbelievable, but with shades of our own true experiences. Stupid, but with life lessons. The Proposal with Sandra Bullock comes to mind. Or Nancy Meyers films like The Holiday, or for that matter, It’s Complicated. The Big Wedding had the potential to be one of these gems, but just as so many of us fall short on our personal journeys toward being our

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Gay Minority; Different Than All the Rest

The other day at Starbucks I ran into a friend who happens to be Gay. We were talking about his work as a counselor, and he happened to say the most amazing thing.

“Being gay is different from being a member of any other minority, because you are a minority not only in society, but inside your own family. So growing up, there is nowhere where you are in the majority. Other minorities are not

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Ya Ya

When my mother died last fall, I was invited to take her place at the monthly luncheon she and her friends have been doing for years. They meet at a different restaurant each month, where they ask for separate checks, hear one another’s reviews of the past month, and generally enjoy each other’s company. When they asked if I wanted to come, I said, “Oh my God, you mean like the Sisters of the Ya

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Ode to Oprah

Today is Oprah’s last show, and I hope you will all watch it, because Oprah is my friend.

Oprah went global two months after my fabulous daughter was born. I’m not sure when I started watching, but I’m pretty sure it was close to the beginning. At that time there was no such thing as TIVO, so I didn’t tape it. Let’s say I watched five times a month. I don’t remember any of those

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