My New Hip Henry

I got a new hip.

It’s my left hip. I have named him Henry because he’s not really part of me and needs to have his own name. I’m not sure why he’s a guy when I am a girl, but it was the first name that came to me, and that’s the end of that. He’s Henry. No one can accuse me of being Lean In sensitive. I’m gender neutral as are all fake

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Me & My Health Care

Sit down Freesia Laners. This one may take a while.

I moved to Cape Cod a few years ago from Los Angeles, where I had health care through an employer. Getting a primary care physician on Cape Cod isn’t easy; they just don’t seem to want to live here. So when my mom died I called her primary care physician, who said she wasn’t taking new patients. I pointed out that my mom’s passing had

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Brownies. Special Brownies. Ok, Pot Brownies.

You might not believe this story, but I swear every word is true.

I had a ‘new’ friend I met at work (I owned a party rental company and she is one of the foremost event planners in the land) who called and suggested we go to the movies. I love movies. Where else can you stock up on bad things to eat, sit in the dark eating them while watching someone other than you

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Burying Aspartame

My first diet soda memory is of the vending machine in the basement of my sorority house in 1972. Diet Doctor Pepper, which I purchased one can at a time to consume while sitting on the floor of somebody’s room or other, playing Yahtzee or Bridge. The empty cans were used for cigarette butts. I would go to the basement before both lunch and dinner, and that was my drink of choice during most meals.

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Me and Thermometers

I’ve been sick this past week. Terrible cold, flu kind of thing. I haven’t been sick in years, and this has really set me back. Lots of friends and family called, and everyone—I mean everyone—keeps asking me what my temperature is. I have no idea what my temperature is. I do not own a thermometer, and to be honest, I’m not sure I owned one when Sarah was little, either. If I did, I rarely

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Book Review: The Miles Levin Story

I was sent an advance copy of The Miles Levin Story for reviewing, so I lit a fire last night and sat on the couch to look through some reading matter, and I started to read the book. I didn’t stop until I finished it early this morning.

Miles Levin got cancer when he was sixteen and died when he was eighteen. While his friends were going off to college and starting the next phase

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I Hate Yoga

I hate Yoga. No, I really mean I hate it. I hate the holier-than-thou attitude of those who practice it, and the way they insinuate that they are better inside because they do it. I hate the soft way people talk while they’re doing it. I hate that the teachers walk around the room and talk about breathing all the time, as if that is going to rid me of the results of the pints

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Women and Stem Cells

So, as it turns out— surprise, surprise—women’s stem cells nurture regrowth twice as much as men’s stem cells. Now, I recognize that this may mean nothing more than that our stem cells are ‘richer’ than men’s. But it may also be God’s message about what we offer in the bigger scheme of life. Think about it. If it had been Lehman Brothers & Sisters, that company’s story might have had a different ending.

I’m just

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Food Groups

I’ve figured out the obesity problem. It’s the food group thing.

It’s not about what you eat, necessarily, but about with whom you eat, where you eat, and your emotional state when the food goes into your mouth. Trying to tell me to eat three veggies and two fruits each day has no soul, and it ain’t working. Give me the rules on the who, what, where, and when theory of eating, and I think

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Plug Pulling

In a meeting at work yesterday, a laptop was plugged in under the board room table. The guy whose computer it was asked a co-worker to “unplug me.” Because we are all curious minds at work, that led to a conversation about whether or not you would want the plug pulled if you were a vegetable.

Everyone said they absolutely would.

I, on the other hand, being of sound mind and body sometimes, and honest

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