Another year, another resolution to break. The question is do you get through 24 hours, or not so much?
I am fifty-eight years old. I have been making resolutions since I was in college—or maybe even since high school; I can’t really remember. The truth is, I have never successfully kept a resolution in the forty-odd years I have been making them. Each year, however, I am confident when I head off to bed on the 31st (I rarely make it to midnight), that this is the year that my resolve will kick in, and all things will come together to make the perfect year. I am not a stupid person, but after forty years of failure, one might wonder why I still approach each new year’s resolution with the confidence of someone who is used to success?
So this year I read an article about New Year’s resolutions. The author says she doesn’t make resolutions, but instead puts forth a guide word for her year. Like Faith, or Hope, or Charity (just kidding). It made sense to me. No firm commitment to things I will not do, but rather a general statement that I can review at the end of the year and see how I did.
Then I sent my cousin a nice e-mail wishing her all the things she wished for in the new year. Instead of the “thank you very much” I had expected from her, she responded with, “I don’t wish for things. I provide myself with intentions for the year.” I pressed her to explain, and her definition of “intentions” seemed markedly like wishes to me, but I refuse to waste my time arguing semantics.
But she had a point. Intention. What is your intention for the New Year?
So, here is it. My intention for the new year is to live with a plan of excellence. My friend Claire does everything with excellence. She came and decorated my house for Christmas one year and you would have thought it was her most important gig of the the year. If you go to her house for dinner,she spares no effort; everything is carefully thought out and prepared. Whatever she does, she attacks it with vigor, striving for the excellence she is known for.
I probably have a spotty reputation when it comes to excellence. If you need me, I am filled with excellence. I will leave no stone unturned, and no storm will keep me away. But if I invite you over for dinner, I might call you up an hour before you are due to arrive to tell you that we are moving it to a restaurant because I just didn’t quite get it together today. If you want me to read something and comment, I am excellent. My clients get my best; my co-workers, not so much.
I really hated having to write that last paragraph, but we all know I strive toward Oprahism, and therefore I must look myself squarely in the eye and be authentic in my assessment of myself.
Here are the elements I need to focus on to make this the year of excellence for myself.
1. I will not over-commit. If you ask me to do something, I am going to respond that I will get back to you. This is to ensure that I don’t have the “disease to please.” This is the disease that would cause me to say yes when I mean no, and then fail to give you my best.
2. I will take my time. No more rushing when I sear salmon so that white stuff comes out. I recently saw an episode of Top Chef on which they said that this is the fish’s way of screaming that the heat is up too high and you should have started to cook it sooner.
3. I will establish ironclad rules to live by in order to become a more disciplined person, and in this way I will live a life of excellence. For example, I will make my bed as soon as I get out of it, even if I need to hurry to the bathroom. This will ensure that it is made well every day. Excellence clearly begins with bed-making. You can make your bed as though you are having someone in it for the first time ever, or you can make it like you know it’s just you, alone yet again, and no one but you will see it. Well, men be damned, my bed is going to look fabulous with puffed pillows every day, so I can see the excellence with which I have made it when I walk into the room at night. Yep, it’s the new me.
So, regardless of whether your resolutions are already historical fiction, or you are joining me in striving toward an intention for the year, I wish you the best in this new year. May you be filled with your own sense of excellence in all that you strive to accomplish.
I am a visual person and do a vision board that includes traveling ideas, diet, and exercise goals and so much more… The intentions turn to actuality because the board is available to look at often… Placed where I can see it a number of times during the day. I use pictures and sayings and I dream out loud. But the key for me is to see my plan each day !! I also always choose one word the will be my mantra for the year. In past years Joy, celebration, and kindness have crossed the years expression….. This year my word is “Peace”, as in knowing that all my experiences are in hands of something or someone greater and if I stay true to the moment my life has the calm and focus for each new day. I have done this for many years and am amazed when looking back what I have accomplished.
Maybe my resoultion should be to really make sure that my blog gets the attention it deserves each week! Maybe reading a really nifty blog like yours will motivate me to do that (or be a form of work-avoidance!).
I find that so many of the things I might want to change come up against the hard reality that so much about life is balancing all the competiting demands — work, the family, making time for exercise and rest and needed recreation (re-creation), and, of course, the needs of others…. So, for example, excellence is a great idea, but probably hard for me to achieve in all areas at the same time.
So maybe I need to continue to strive for excellence as I can, strive to balance all the competing demands, and strive to forgive myself and let it go when I inevitably fall short!
Your “I’ll get back to you” idea for avoiding over-commitment is terrific. I resolve to start doing that too. Too often, I say “yes”‘ when I should say “no,” and I’m too old to keep doing that. In fact, I read somewhere that one of the perks of getting older is being able to be a bit selfish. In this case, being selfish really means having time to do the things we really need to do, not fill up our calendars with extraneous tasks.
My new mantra is “Moderation”. That’s a relative term, of course. For me, it means less sitting, more standing and walking, and, I hope, running. It means one helping at dinner, not two.
Bed-making is very important, truly. My mother used to say that if you leave your bed unmade all day, it means you have no pride in yourself. It is certainly depressing to enter the bedroom at 5pm and find a messy bed. But I don’t make the bed immediately when I get up; I pull the quilt and top sheet down to air things out, then make it all tidy after breakfast. If my day goes badly after that, at least I did one thing right earlier!