I know, I know. I promised I was over the California bashing thing, but I must digress for just one day. Please indulge me.
I’m driving along in my expensively California-registered car last weekend with a friend minding my own sun-blinding business. There on the side of the road, as if he had a right to be there, was a Pilgrim. He was standing under a palm tree enticing people to come in and buy turkeys. I turned to my friend in the car, first to see if she had noticed him, and second to see if she was as upset as I was.
“Did you see that Pilgrim on the side of the road? What’s he doing here? There were no Pilgrims in California under palm trees. My people came over on the Mayflower and they did not come to California.” I started to take flight. “People running from the law came to California! Outcasts came to California! Greedy gold hunters came to California!!! People with noses all looking the same looking for fame and fortune come to California!!! Pilgrims are not in California. I’m going back and telling him to get out of that outfit.”
“Take me home. I can’t deal with you anymore,” was her reply.
Hear me out. I get that everyone is allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving. I understand it’s a fabulous holiday for the entire country. I really do get all that. But dress people indigenously (is that a word?) to the area in which they belong. You don’t see clowns outside children’s parties and circuses. You don’t see surfers walking the streets of New York. You don’t see court judges wandering around in their robes. You want to sell turkeys in California? Dress someone in a turkey costume and let them stand on the road. Do not dress up like Pilgrims and think you can hang out under palm trees on the West Coast in front of me.
I feel that while this post is clearly a deviation from my promise to embrace California and be one of her proud citizens, I’m sure you will agree that I’m right on this point. He was the one standing under a palm tree in a Pilgrim outfit. Blame him.
I’m done ranting. I love California. I’m leaving tomorrow to go to the East Coast for the holidays. It’s supposed to rain all week. Can’t wait.
