Handbags

I love handbags. I’ve been on the quest for the perfect bag for quite sometime. It’s a cross between a briefcase – large enough to carry some files, etc. – and small enough to not make me look like a moving van carrying things to and fro. It’s not easy and I find myself getting attached in the store, buying the bag and then it disappoints me. Then I give it away.

I once bought a handbag for $3,000. My bag broke on my way to a meeting and I ran into Bergdorf to buy one on the fly. I saw this Loro Piana bag on sale for $300, quickly bought it, transferred my ‘stuff’ and went on my late, merry way. When I got home that night, I took out the bill and saw that it was $3,000 and change, not $300 and change and immediately started to cry. My less honest friend, J. suggested I return it, but I am not like that. Actually, I might be like that, but I didn’t do it in this case. Besides, whose name is Loro? Lara? Laura? Tell the truth about your name, especially if you are going to charge thousands of dollars for a handbag.

So, twenty bags in four years, and I still haven’t found the right one. Here is the thing. Now that I live happily in LA, I need a bag with lots of outside pockets. In their brilliant way, LA has these cards that give you access to places in your life. You swipe the card when you get in the elevator and you can push the button to your business floor, and your apartment floor, the floor to your gym, and the garage in your office building, not to be confused with the elevator to your office floor, and so on. All in all, I have six things that I swipe to get through my day in fabulous, sunny LA, and so I need a bag with pockets on the outside.

I found it last weekend at Nordstroms. I still like it and it’s been almost a week, so that bodes well for the future. The only thing I do not like is that it doesn’t have a shoulder strap, so I have to hold it over the crook in my arm when I’m finding the swiping cards and using them. That’s awkward for sure.

Back to the perfect bag. It should be nice leather, but not be so heavy. Can’t they ‘shave’ leather so you have the look but not the weight? I carry enough weight around without adding to it with the skin of another  animal other than myself. I feel that way about shoes as well. They should not be heavy. Don’t you think your feet just groan when they see what you put on them? Sort of like, “Is she kidding me? Does she not know we are on the same team? Sheesh.” I know some feet think that.

Bags, Christine, Bags. Ok, the bag should have pockets on the outside and not a black interior where your black wallet  and Blackberry get lost in the blackness and darkness of the interior of the bag. It should have a little hardware but not so much that you look like you parked a Harley in the parking lot downstairs. What is that all about? All the designers adding tons of hardware, keys to enter, and then fringe the length of my first boyfriend’s eyelashes that get in the way of things when you pick the back up. I had a fringe-covered bag last year, picked it up and the fringe tracked through my coffee and then onto my white shirt. I looked like I’d tie-dyed my white shirt with cocoa beans.

I saw a bag at Gucci last year and it was $30,000. I showed it to my friend and she said if I bought it she wouldn’t be my friend anymore. I don’t agree with her on things like movies and some people, so I considered it, but truthfully, only a fool would pay that much money for a handbag. It’s insulting and it’s not about how much money you have. In addition, I don’t have $30,000 for a purple crocodile bag.

I know one day I will find the perfect bag and carry it until it’s frayed and used in a way that says I loved it. Hope springs eternal in all things when you love living in sunny LA.