My New Shoes

This is the pair I bought. Cute, don't you think?

My new shoes came with an accompanying CD-ROM to show me how to walk in them. They are ‘physiological footwear.’  Wow. They are called MBT Footwear and there is a whole theory behind them. I must mention here they are the most expensive pair of gym shoes I ever purchased. I’m sure my cool Keds from the fifth grade are rolling over in their grave.

Their Web site shows how when you walk in the shoes, you roll rather than plant (my words), and therefore your posture is better, the strain on your joints is better, and your overall quality of foot-to-comfort ratio is better.

Just think, there are shoes that cure things like back problems, joint ailments, and according to them, neck problems.

The trouble is when I’m walking in them I look like my dog Luke when he’s stepping slowly and tentatively through crusty snow. I am so aware of the way I’m supposed to walk that I take small baby steps, can think of nothing else, and take one long time to walk from the kitchen to the couch which is obviously my most traveled personal corridor. Now there are benefits to the fact that I have to think about whether it’s worth it to make another trip to the kitchen for one more scoop of Haagen-Dazs, but I don’t know, it seems a bit much.

Truth is, I don’t want to have to think about my shoes and feet every time I take a step. I already have so much more to think about than those that went before me. Did I remember my iPhone? Did I remember the car cord to my iPhone? Did I remember to turn my car without a key off when I got out of it? (Let’s not discuss how many times my car has been running all night. Thank God my neighbors are not hoodlums.) Did I turn everything off in the house including the AC? Did I bring the address so I can plug it into the GPS? Did I bring picture ID (I went to Boston once to pick up my cousin, forgot my license, and had to sleep on the floor of the airport because you can’t get a hotel room now without a picture ID.)

So, with all the things I have to think about, I don’t want to think about my feet. But, now I am thinking about my feet and I feel badly about the way I’ve treated them for so many years. They carry the load without complaining. And, a heavy load it is. They look pretty good, my feet do, and haven’t spread much even though everything else has. They don’t get a pedicure anywhere near as often as my hands, and they don’t say a word. And, they pivoted really well when I used to play tennis, to say nothing of flexing in a stirrup for many years without complaint.

So, I’m going to try and watch the entire CD on my first steps with Masai Barefoot Technology. Shoe Technology. Surely we are all in deep trouble when we are dealing with shoe technology, but I’m going to have a good attitude about it. So roll away, feet of mine, and I will practice patting my head and rubbing my stomach at the same time. I’m sure it’s good for the brain synapses.