Shopping

I used to wear all designer clothes and bags and hats. Ok, I didn’t actually wear the hats, I just purchased them, over and over again, regardless of the fact that I never wore them. The  new Obama mini me is no longer going to buy designer. Actually, I am going to buy designer things now and then to accent my wardrobe, but things like black pants, and bathing suit cover ups, and basics are going to be non designer.

As an aside, to give you a sense of my fashion sense, I wear all black, unless I can find something darker. Black is good, you can put any touch of color with it, and you can always feel you look your thinnest self which has nothing whatsoever with actually being thin. Recently, however, my friends have asked that I start wearing a bit of color. “Color is free,” says my floral and event designer friend, Claire. “Wear it.”

I set a date for myself (five minutes before I was leaving on vacation, I love pressure), and headed off to K-Mart to start my Obama mini me shopping spree to add color to my wardrobe for my vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. Here is what I bought.

2 bathing suits (I have to add a caveat to the bathing suits. I didn’t try them on, and only intend to wear them from 5:00 am to 5:15 am when I swim laps when everyone else is getting fat sleeping, so I’m not sure they are a good buy. I may have to throw them out if I guessed wrong.)

3, yes, count them, 3 pairs of jeans. I wore the black ones yesterday and love them.

2 pairs of shoes.

1 bathing suit cover up.

1 bottle of water.

All of this including tax came to $248. I was incredulous. I called my sister and told her on the way home, and she was not impressed. “So what,” she said when I told her. “Do you want a medal?” I think I do want a medal.

On my way to the Vineyard yesterday (that’s what those in the know call Martha’s Vineyard, even though I haven’t seen one vineyard on the island yet), I told everyone I met on two ferries that I got my vacation clothes at K-Mart and aren’t they fabulous? This last sentence is a lie, but I wanted to tell them all, and I know they would have agreed. 

I really do feel so good about it all. The jeans were each $22.00. They look the same as my “Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” (What kind of hateful name is that for jeans anway?) which were $149.00. They really do. Maybe after the first washing they will fall apart, but I’m not thinking that after wearing them.

I wish I’d started this new financially frugal self a long time ago. I now hate designers after falling love with my new favorite designer, Kaye Marte. I remember once being in Valentino in New York and noticing that he doesn’t have the same sizing in America as he has in Europe. His sizes go up higher in Europe where larger women are allowed to wear designer cloths and look fabulously larger.

And, all the fancy designers lie about sizing anyway. You never know what size you wear because so many of them pretend that a ten is an eight. They do this so we think we are thinner than we are and buy their clothes because “they fit me perfectly.” It’s insulting to our intelligence ladies! Don’t be fooled! If it walks like a duck, and quack likes a duck, it’s a duck. If you wear a size ten, and it fits you, it’s a size ten, not a size eight.

I saw the Valentino documentary, and while I still think he’s a genius, he’s a snob, and me and my new best friend Kay Marte, are not.

So, I’m on vacation, in my new Obama mini me cloths, feeling oh so money fabulous. I have dumped all my two-faced, lying designer friends of old. Life is good.