Because I’m sure you read my blog every day and carry around the finer points I strive so hard to present, you might recall that I stopped drinking diet coke. Well, I lied. I didn’t actually mean to lie, I meant every word at the time I wrote it. My friend, Russell had lunch with me a few days after the “I’m getting rid of Diet Coke and the aspartame debacle that is taking away my memory post,” and he pointed at me and screamed, “You liar, you are drinking Diet Coke!” while starring at the Diet Coke bottle on the table next to my plate. There was no denying the truth.
Anyway, the point is that I am drinking Diet Coke (although it is not in my house), and thus my memory is in jeopardy again. As a review, Diet Coke has aspartame. Aspartame takes away your memory. I know. I know.
But what I decided is that I will make it up on the other end. I subscribe to www.WowWowWow.com, a website that has prominent women writing blogs about this and that. It’s hard to take it seriously with a name like wow wow wow, but Freesia Lane was already taken so I can’t blame them. Actually, as a side note, I’d love my blog to be on it, but nobody knows my name and when no one knows your name, they really don’t invite you to be on a blog where everyone on it is a name everyone knows.
SO, to make this long introduction finally over, I recently received from wow wow wow an email with a brain enhancing game link. Here is how they introduce it.
Fit Brains is a fun and engaging platform of brain fitness games and tools that let you exercise your brain in a fun way while keeping track of your progress. These games and activities were developed by Dr. Paul Nussbaum, award-winning neuroscientist.
Oh my God, I’m in heaven. The words fitness and exercise all in a sentence that you can do sitting down. I start to rattle off the calories for sitting there doing brain fitness games without physical effort or sweat. No need for an iPod to pretend you are somewhere else. I’m there. I stoked. I’m stupid.
I do the first set of brain teasers and it says, “Congratulations, you had 4 out of 10 wrong for a 60% score.” Last I heard, that’s a D-and while I graduated high school with a 1.6 average (no joke, I was busy at the time with social studies), I certainly never felt like a D student until now. And, I hate it when people congratulate you for a loser result. It’s so 2000. Parents saying “Great job honey”, as the uncoordinated kid kicks the soccer ball into their own goal post for a point for the other side. No wonder the world is confused.
Define fun. I think fun is when you can do games like this and feel good about yourself. You smile and say, “Wow, wow, wow, I am as smart as my sixth grade report card said. Finally a measuring stick that proves it.” Fun is when you don’t start sweating in 60 degree (who said there is global warming) weather because all you can do is look at the little clock ticking away and you can’t figure out a four letter word with the four letters they provide in under ten minutes.
The timing thing really sets me back. You can pause the timer which I can only assume is for if the phone rings or you need to use the ladies room. I, on the other hand, pause it to figure out the words without running out of time. Great. Now I’m a liar and a cheat, all in the interest of making my brain stronger.
And lastly, not for nothing, why would you have some really smart neuroscientist person design games for the masses like me? Who’s the dumb one?
There is another side sadness this effort taught me. I love Lock in Those Lyrics on TV. If you haven’t seen it, the contestant stands up and sings a song from the past, the words stop and you have to fill in the blanks. While I can’t sing and realize it’s somewhat of a stumbling block, I have truly believed that I could go on and win. I do it in my living room a lot on Friday nights. It never occurred to me that I would buckle under pressure of time and people watching. I have seen now that when that stupid clock watches in the brain game, I am a wreck, so imagine a few million people and my terrible voice. Good bye aspirations for greatest on Lock in Those Lyrics. I have removed it from TIVO.
The long and the short of it is I now face another dilemma. Give up Diet Coke to not lose brain cells? Spend twenty hours a day exercising my mind to try and get back the cells I’m losing whilst drinking diet coke while playing the games?
You know, trying to improve yourself and overcome your shortcomings is not easy. I work hard at it, and despite these minor setbacks will continue to do so.
