My Voice or Someone More Credible

Screen Shot 2019-01-14 at 2.47.07 PMI was with a group of women the other night and a conversation woke me up to the plight of some of us who seem to believe our quotes or thoughts would be better received if we attributed their origin to someone else.

So-and-so thinks …
I was talking to … and she suggested …
 
I can’t remember where I heard this but …
 
I finally said, “How about we all give our opinions instead of making someone else’s opinion our contribution?”
 
Then the truth erupted.
 
One of the women said that she always credits her father as having taught her this, that, and the other thing through a great quote (I’ve heard many of them, and they are great). She went on to say that her husband took her aside a few years ago and told her that he believes she has made up her own quotes over the years, and yet still credits her father. She then admitted to doing so.
 
And, then there’s me and my methodology: “I’m not sure where I got this, but …” I am such a liar. I am sure where I got this; I made it up. And it was good. But giving the credit for it to someone else seemed to make it “better.” Note to self: Never do that again.
 
I decided that I don’t want anyone else’s opinion from the mouth of another. That’s heresy anyway, which we all know is not allowed in a court of law, so why should it be allowed in my think tanks? Come with your own thoughts moving forward, say I to all women. Incorporate others in your overall presentation if you want and build off what they say to make it your own, which is very different from attributing your voice to someone else who you believe has more credibility than you.
 
So here is my opinion: “My opinion has value if it’s brilliant, not because it supposedly came from a source who you think is smarter than I am.”

 

To Kill a Mockingbird Review: Aaron Sorkin Brings Us Inside the Finch Inner Circle

Who knew Atticus had a sense of humor? Who knew Calpurnia had such insight, wisdom, and spunk? Who knew Scout had any uncertainty about her dad? The way I interpreted Scout from reading the book and watching the 1962 film is that she was observing without much insight. I never thought of Atticus as witty. Calpurnia? I never thought of her at all. But Aaron Sorkin must have seen those qualities, and he has brought

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Sharing on Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, my favorite daughter, about whom I’m not allowed to write, is trekking in Nepal. She sent me this picture this morning. She told me about the wonderful people she is meeting and how hard their lives appear to be. The only reason I can post it is that I’m counting on the fact she won’t see it.

It took me back to a memory I’d forgotten. Another Thanksgiving.

When Sarah was seven, it

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The 2018 Election & Change to the House of Representatives

“The Dems take the House! The Dems took the House!” said all the pundits last night around 10 p.m. Then the speculation began about the plans for what they would do with the House now that they have it.

“Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker again.”

“We’ve been told that the first thing they will do is subpoena Trump’s tax returns!”

“They can now spend time fighting Trump; that’s their priority!”

Then I started to think

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Reason Speaks Softly But Screams to be Heard - Kavanaugh VS Ford

A friend asked about my perspective on yesterday’s hearings from a “female” point of view.

The contrast between Dr. Ford’s “I’m so sorry; I don’t remember” and her efforts to make the people questioning her “like” her was magnified 100 percent by Kavanaugh’s belligerent, arrogant, disrespectful behavior. Every male pundit who praised the way she presented herself showed he had no understanding of what it takes to win in this environment. She was believable because

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July 4th, 1976

I had a great love in my life. I was in my early twenties and had just arrived in New York City from the cornfields of the University of Nebraska. He was ten years older than me, on his way to success, and further along in the “being a grown-up” arena. He was handsome, smart, funny and incredibly energetic — the kind of energetic that took others along for the ride. During one of the

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Kate Spade

The thing thing about Kate Spade is that her accessories made me feel pretty. Not “Chanel pretty,” which always made me feel like part of a club I didn’t want to belong to. Not pretty like Saint Laurent, who always made me feel that I better make my body deserve to wear him. Not pretty like Valentino, who made me feel masculine in a feminine way. Powerful. (I liked that, but I never felt pretty

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The American of Old

I was on the phone with my BFF, from Alliance, Nebraska, talking about conversations with aging parents. She said she loved the stories her mom told her about her father. Lorie’s mom is 97, and her father would be 120 if he were he alive today.

“Tell me one,” I said.

“My mom told me that her dad, who had come over from Lebanon to Nebraska, was a laborer and so proud to have found

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Good or Evil. Either Or.

October 2003

Last week the headmaster from the school my daughter attended through fifth grade was arrested for child pornography. It seems that he was entering chat rooms for 13- and 14-year-olds and sending them graphic pictures of things he would like to do to them. I forced myself to write the last two sentences. It is the only way to make real the fact that someone I know — an old, old friend —

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A Drug Addict's Random Thoughts ... as Told to Me.

Recovering Drug Addict & Pirate As Told To Chris “The difference between a thief and a drug addict is a thief will steal from you and deny it. A drug addict will steal from you and help you look for what’s missing.” Chris asked me why I keep calling myself a recovering drug addict. She said that she felt I was more than that and I should find myself another way to describe me.

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